I'm King Herod, Inc. But the Inc., doesn't mean I'm corporate.

WARNING!!! --- THIS POST DOES DETAIL SOMETHING IN MY HISTORY.  IT IS OFFENSIVE.  THIS IS PRE-FUNNY DISCLAIMER FOR A REASON.  READ WITH CAUTION.

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DISCLAIMER: As per usual, I'm not here to be sensitive to anyone's needs or wants.  So when you NEED a doctor, or you WANT a friend... find the real version of RRINC, and talk to him.  This internetty one?  Doesn't give a poo.

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I'm amused by people's attempts to make themselves out to be "cooler than you" by their words.  I think it comes from a need to feel important.  And then in their own downstroke, think that by saying they don't want to be important makes them more important.  Which I find even more amusing.  So guess what?  I call it like it is.  I AM important.  Someone ignoring me?  They'll die the horrid death they deserve, just because they think they're cool for not listening to all the rage.

Folks, remember... there is no such thing as cool. Getting a shitty haircut from your friend because it's "cool" to look like crap?  No.  Trying out that new myspace angle in every picture you take, because you think looking depressed and off center is "cool?"  No.  Heck, downplaying everyone for "trying" to be "cool?"  That isn't cool either.  All it is is a desperate drive for attention that we aren't going to receive.

Now that I'm done preaching, I'll get on with the show.

In my last post, I made a comment in my disclaimer (which, if you hadn't noticed, is now a mainstay in my posts) that probably came off horrendous, and I said I would tell that story... 

February 14th, 2010.  It was the dumbest holiday of the year.  Apparently gift card companies and chocolate companies didn't have enough stupid holidays to satiate their hunger for money, and they decided that they'd come up with a day to associate with "love" and that if you don't buy someone something on this specific day, you don't love them.  This day, to me, is known as blackheart's day.  MY day.  Because unlike everyone else that I know, I've spent only three Valentine's days with a significant other, and none of them had me receive anything but an argument.  The worst of it is that the following day is my birthday.  And because of the argument of selfishness the day before, each of those birthdays was ruined as well.

I have amazing luck.  Take me to Atlantic City.

Now, I'm not sure if you can understand what dark humor is, but I'm full of it.  I laugh at fake misery so much that I deemed it necessary to cause a small amount of it on this day.  Usually, it just takes the form of making fun of couples, but this year... oh man.  This year, I made a doozie.

Now... there is this website called Facebook.  Apparently people you don't ever talk to or see call you a "friend" and then they're suddenly privy to your private life... that for some dumbass reason, you're spewing all over the internet in small chunks known as status updates.  A status update lets your "friends" know what you're doing at that immediate moment, or what you're thinking... or whatever else you want to write there.  I figured I would choose this time to spew some Blackheart's Day propaganda!

"I wish that every child conceived on this day is still born!"

Now that I think of it, it was a stupid thing to say.  But before you explode on me like they did, understand that there is no possible way I would truly mean that I wish someone's unborn child to die.  But the words were said, and by gosh, the tidal wave of hate mail started rushing in.  It was glorious...  for a short while...

Then suddenly I started receiving phone calls, and threatening text messages, and it got way out of hand.

Ahem.  It wasn't as glorious anymore.  Not because I feared my safety, because I didn't, but because I realized that it was the first time I ever felt like I went too far with a joke.  You see, a fact that wasn't to my knowledge, a "friend" of mine, sadly, went through this very situation that I was turning into a poor taste joke, and he flipped the fuck out.

That day was the start of something new, though.  I may have felt the sting of knowing I pushed the wrong button, but at the same time, I figured I'd just start pushing every wrong button, because I can't censor myself and call myself free.  I dropped my frustration with racial slurs.  I dropped my frustration on people making fun of my weight.  Do unto others and I would want them to do to me, right?

Free reign for this one, I guess.

In any case, I just want to know who you think is evil enough to wish the deaths of unborn children?  I swear, that might be worse than King Herod slaughtering two year olds.  Really, people...

Really.